Simple answer: No. Let me explain.
There are times when you just stop and think of someone you’ve lost. You’ll think of this person at special, important events in your life, such as college graduations, weddings, baby showers, birthdays, family reunions, holidays, etc. You’ll even remember them at random times like walking around a store. I’ll see a Mr. Potato Head and think about how my father used to hide it for me and my siblings to find. I’ll go to that restaurant he would take us or the amusement park where we would spend family time. But most of all, you will remember them at funerals. I do anyway. I sit in the pews remembering how confused I was as a child. This was right before it hit me. Dad wasn’t asleep. He wasn’t coming back. Ever. I wouldn’t be able to see him after work. We wouldn’t eat together at the dinner table. I will never hear his laugh again. I wish we had the technology of today, so I would have some random video, voicemail, something to hear his voice again. This was in the time before Facebook, YouTube, smart phones, and Apple. I have pictures and some drawings. It’s not the same.
I wonder what he would think of me becoming a physician. Would he encourage me? What would he think of my accomplishments? I’d like to believe he would be proud and that his death somehow led to my medical journey. At a young age, I wondered how he died. I’m now learning about failed systems that took his life. I miss him and wish I had gotten to know him as an adult. Though he isn’t around, I attempt to piece together an image from family and friends. I hope I’m able to pass little things from him to my children.
I am writing this to let you know it gets easier after losing someone, but you never forget them. And you’ll never forget the pain that comes with your loss. Just know they love you and continue to treasure all of the memories you have with them.
Happy birthday, Dad! I love you. Wish you were here.
Thanks for visiting my blog! Be sure to check out my other posts. More to come soon! Until then be kind and remember tomorrow depends on what you do today. Hope you enjoyed reading! — Taylor ❤
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